Growing Old Sucks

Family / Ouch

I am entering new territory.

On Friday, my grandma was released from the hospital following complications during knee surgery. And was battling pneumonia. She is now home and unable to walk (or is cognitively refusing to walk).

My dad went down to help my grandpa take care of her upon returning home.

However, on Sunday night my grandpa broke down in tears before my dad telling him that he is simply unable to take care for her on his own anymore. So now my grandpa, my dad and his siblings are having to make the impossibly difficult decision regarding nursing home care for her.

I can’t even imagine having to make this decision.

For 25 years, I have been blessed to have all 4 of my grandparents. While I wasn’t always close to each them (living far away), I knew they were healthy and well.

That’s all changing.

Back in November, I got a glimpse of my grandma’s failing health. Her dementia and Alzheimer’s. And her inability to walk by herself. But dang, this just seems to be happening so fast now. We’re losing her to her own mind and body.

And if I may vent… I am angry about it.

And it angers me that my mom’s dad (who is a verbally abusive, cruel man) gets to just live in his home ruling over my other grandma (who might I add has lost all joy in her life through marriage to him).

While my dad’s mom (my 4’10” devout Catholic grandma) is losing her cognitive health and can’t even walk or make it to the bathroom on her own. And my grandpa who made the promise to never put her into a nursing home unless he was going to go with her … is facing having to break that promise to his bride.

Knowing that my grandpa cried talking to my dad about her wrecks me.

Ugh.

This is new season of life for them. She isn’t herself anymore and it is hard to understand. But I suppose it is apart of life that most of us will eventually face.

I am simply praying for peace over my entire family as they make the tough decisions. I know that God isn’t surprised by this so neither should we be. But it doesn’t make it any easier.

Please and thank you for praying with us and for us.

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Grandpa and Grandma's 85th Birthday—November 2009.
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Circa 1987. I'm the one in the back in the navy dress. Grandma is in the front center.

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Comments

  1. Christy

    I am so sorry Crystal.

    I understand the anger. And the frustration. And the hurt.

    There is no easy answer. No way I can make you feel better. There is nothing I can do but tell you…

    I am praying. And I love you.

    ((hug))

  2. Jasmin Harrington

    Oh Crystal, I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother. I am very close to both of mine although my grandfathers were gone before I had the chance to know them. I love you and you are in my prayers.

  4. Anna

    Crystal,
    I wish we could sit down and talk. The last couple of years have brought similar circumstances to my life. I have cried, screamed, wailed @ God to change the situation. He has in a lot of ways that I would have never imagined. There’s also been lots that hasn’t changed, much to my dismay. 7wks ago, my grandfather (who was seemingly invisible) died from cancer. He left my ailing grandmother (who also has dementia). I’ll pray for you and ask that you pray for me.

  5. Nicole

    I love you and I’m praying for you all. And you looks super cute in that picture 🙂

    xoxo

  7. kamrie

    That stinks. My grandparents can get on my nerves but I need to remember to be thankful for them. Thanks for he reminder

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