Day One of Catalyst Kicked My Butt

I wrote the following as today’s daily devotional at Westside for the Scandalous Grace series. I wanted to share it with you as well because it came straight from my first day here at Catalyst Conference.

But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:7-9

I didn’t expect to write about this so please bear with me. And thank you for your grace in allowing me to share my story with you today.

I have been battling with unforgiveness and anger. It is in a situation where I thought I was fine. I thought I had moved on. I thought we were in a good place now.

Well, that’s the problem with thinking. Our minds are never as real as our hearts.

It became very clear to me today that much as I would like to think I did, I have not truly forgiven in a situation that caused me great pain. I merely moved past it to where I don’t think about it very much. Out of sight, out of mind I suppose.

But today in a conference session I was sitting in, I was confronted with it head-on through the content being presented. All of the pain, all of anger and all of the bitterness rose to the top and I was quickly overwhelmed with grief.

Even to the point of letting my guard down, and in front of several hundred people, went down to the front for prayer. I had to lay it down.

All this to say, sometimes grace comes when we finally just get real about our heart’s condition and lay our hurts on His feet.

I hope in some way you can relate to my story and that you too, would get real about where your heart is in a situation you’ve let lapse. Grace is just around the corner.

Father, please use the pain that arose in me today for Your glory and Yours alone.


  1. Thanks for sharing Crystal. And what a beautiful prayer at the end…something I need to remember too. I am so thankful even in the midst of pain He can still be glorified :o)

    Hope you have an amazing time at Catalyst.

  2. I’m there too. I love you and can’t wait to talk when you return. Love you love you love you. Cant say it enough.

  3. Amen, that is awesome. May God continue to heal your heart. I’m guessing you weren’t expecting that surprise at a huge conference; what a gift of grace. I can relate, I’ve been listening to Waking the Dead by John Eldredge this week and it has stirred areas where my heart had grown calloused and cold.

  4. Pingback: » Blog Archive » My Year in Review

Add A Comment