how can you mend a broken heart?
i decided i wouldn’t wait to post a real entry since the topic i want to touch on is short (not to mention fresh on my mind). oh and just know i am highly-emotional due to exhaustion and over-all camp craziness.
for some reason during camp i thought a lot about my old pastor and a few other ministry-related people who were huge influencers in my life. it must have been the entire camp experience. being the first since everything happened. camp for me is full of happy memories. my salvation. genuine worship. swimming. the blob. laughter. being around people i love. and that was true for this year too. it was amazing but for me personally it was mostly a bittersweet time. overseeing media and sitting in a room alone editing, left too much time for thinking. thinking about the fact that many, if not most of the people from the last 8 years, ones i would deem as positive influencers through out my life are no longer in my life. church leaders. folks held in high esteem, most of which, abruptly ripped from my life due to their own stupidity and selfishness. and that sucks.
all of this thinking made me realize something i was already starting to notice. umm… trust in people is a really huge issue for me right now and i find it difficult to open up. true that no one is perfect, but i am fearful that if i open up and give my heart away again, they too will leave or they too will throw me a slap in the face. to expose my heart – means to be willing to have it break again. and you know, i am just so sick and tired of being hurt.
just another update on how my heart is dealing and healing. i am thankful to the Lord for bringing these people in my life for even a short while because obviously with each influence, it shapes me.
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And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend a this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again
You praise God in the midst of your pain. Thank Him that you did have good mentors at least for some time of your life. There is power in praise and gratitude.
I think that when you start holding back; start protecting yourself…you loose who you are because you are so wrapped up in worrying who is going to hurt you rather then opening yourself up to more. More God, more fabulous people speaking truth to you, more raw and real relationships with those who you might need to speak truth to. I totally get what you are saying…but you are too wonderful and too “not fake” to hold back. I am sorry though that you are dealing with this. I will pray for you indeed.
Proverbs 18:24
There are “friends” who destroy each other,but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.
i thought of this verse when i read your entry today. i will keep praying for you. that your spirit will be lifted
1 Corinthians 14:3
But one who prophesies strengthens others, encourages them, and comforts them.
I love camp!
Of course I will be praying for you. The enemy’s goal in our sin is to separate us and destroy our relationships through betrayal, discouragement, disenchantment, etc. If we let it succeed, he wins (a battle but not the war). He encourages and will nurture a lack of trust within us if we allow him to. Sin is sin is sin and we have all been caught in the net. We tend to classify sins as less serious and more serious. While it is true that some sins are more hurtful than others, and that hurt can be very wide spread, it is only damaging to the body to the degree that we allow the damage.
Repentance should be respected. If repentance is not forthcoming, there is no choice but to surrender to God’s own healing within us. If we end up divided and isolated because of fear to trust, we lose. And Satan wins.
Perfect love casts out fear.