how can you mend a broken heart?
i decided i wouldn’t wait to post a real entry since the topic i want to touch on is short (not to mention fresh on my mind). oh and just know i am highly-emotional due to exhaustion and over-all camp craziness.
for some reason during camp i thought a lot about my old pastor and a few other ministry-related people who were huge influencers in my life. it must have been the entire camp experience. being the first since everything happened. camp for me is full of happy memories. my salvation. genuine worship. swimming. the blob. laughter. being around people i love. and that was true for this year too. it was amazing but for me personally it was mostly a bittersweet time. overseeing media and sitting in a room alone editing, left too much time for thinking. thinking about the fact that many, if not most of the people from the last 8 years, ones i would deem as positive influencers through out my life are no longer in my life. church leaders. folks held in high esteem, most of which, abruptly ripped from my life due to their own stupidity and selfishness. and that sucks.
all of this thinking made me realize something i was already starting to notice. umm… trust in people is a really huge issue for me right now and i find it difficult to open up. true that no one is perfect, but i am fearful that if i open up and give my heart away again, they too will leave or they too will throw me a slap in the face. to expose my heart – means to be willing to have it break again. and you know, i am just so sick and tired of being hurt.
just another update on how my heart is dealing and healing. i am thankful to the Lord for bringing these people in my life for even a short while because obviously with each influence, it shapes me.
And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend a this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again