i’m back but… not completely
hello all. first, if you haven’t already read my africa experience post – i really encourage you do so. it’s super long but for now it is the best way i can personally share my africa mission experience.
as amazing as this trip was, i brought home a lot more than souvenirs. in fact, i would like to share with you my current struggle. the struggle of re-entry. i guess the best way of explaining how i feel is to tell you in what ways i am struggling:
- My attitudes toward wealth, consumption and stewardship – the American way
- The ways our individual choices as well as the policies of our government affect the world
- Christianity in other cultures and around the world
- Issues of justice, including what it means to “pursue justice” as a Christian
- My inability to speak about my experience coherently
we were told to expect difficulty when re-entering our lives back home in the States but i didn’t take much of what was said to us to heart because, well, frankly i didn’t expect to be affected this much.
God’s awesome and I have a new-found passion for my Creator in a way that is incomprehensible, but I am struggling with where He has me. I guess you could say that i am almost upset that His direction and prompting led me to go to a place that turned my life upsidedown – with little understanding of what i can do about it. i saw so much and experience so much that i am still processing it. i can’t form coherent sentences and talk to people about my experience because it’s so overwhelming.
I don’t want to forget or relinguish any of what i saw or experienced, but I do want to be able to function and feel like what i do HERE matters too. I want clarity and peace in where He wants me to go from here. do i go or do i stay? how do i know? apparently, i have a passion and a calling on my life, but who knew?
i guess it is super hard to explain unless you can relate. i’m rambling. so, if you have mission experiences and can share how you dealt with this process, i would greatly appreciate it. through scriptures, prayers, songs, stories, anything.
everyone: i covet your prayers right now.