My Health Scare: A Lesson in Being Still
Not many know what I am about to share with you. The only ones who do are in my LifeGroup (LGO) and just a couple others. While some might find the following to be TMI (and is a tad bit embarrassing for me share), we’re all family, yes?
Okay, so enough prefacing.
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Over the last 3 months I have had a little lump (about the size of a pea) on my right breast. (See, I warned you). Being Miss Proactive, I made an appointment with my girlie doctor–just to be on the safe side. My appointment was last Wednesday.
Diane, my Northern Irish (but lives in Australia) friend from LGO shared with me a verse the night before my appointment:
Exodus 14:13-14, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
Have you ever had one of those moments in reading scripture where you think, “I’ve never heard that before. It must have totally just been written for me.” This verse was that kind of verse. This verse was totally for me and I knew it too because I suck at being still. I am a worrier. I am a fixer. Being still isn’t even something I know how to be.
I ended up sharing this verse via Twitter and had an enormous response from it. Others saying how much they needed to read it and be reminded of it. It was actually really cool for God to use that to take my mind off my concerns–so others who needed the reminder of Him and His promise could benefit too.
The Wednesday appointment showed the good news was that the lump I found was nothing (a cyst that will likely clear up on its own). But during the exam, she found another lump. It was a lump I had felt last month, but didn’t think much of it (go figure). My doc was a bit concerned by how it felt and wanted me to get it checked and scheduled me for an ultrasound the next morning. Right. Away.
So needless to say I was freaked out even more after that. Cause remember I suck at being still and letting Him fight.
Wednesday night was LGO. After the news I had been given, I wasn’t so much in the mood to lead anything so Christy stepped up (thank you!). After LGO was all over, we disbanded (minus myself, Diane, David and Sarah). I’m usually one of the first to leave, but I wasn’t in a hurry to toss and turn with anxiety all night. We talked for a long while about all kinds of stuff (which was great because this kept me from mulling and worrying over matters I couldn’t control) and at the end, David suggested we pray. He led it off but then Diane chimed in with a powerful prayer of healing for me. No joke, people. I know it sounds super weird, but while Diane was praying, I felt a rush of warmth over my entire body (particularly in my chest).
Whether her prayer was one of miraculous healing or not, I was so overwhelmed! I felt so richly blessed by the love of these friends and the love of my Father… I went to sleep without a care, when I otherwise would have been restless. I was stilled.
On Thursday morning, as I was sitting in the waiting room, I kept coming back to that verse in Exodus and I heard the prayer I had been praying in my heart begin to change. It went from a prayer of fear–asking to be okay and to be healed, to one that believed and trusted that I would be healed, that whatever the result was, I would be fine.
Immediately after I prayed that, my name was called and went into the tiny, dark room for my ultrasound.
According to the tech, “everything looked good.” There were no signs of cancer or any abnormality! But I am still waiting to hear if any further follow-up is required or recommended. Because of that, I wanted to wait to post this until I had a clear plan of action (if there is one). I will let you know if I hear anything worth reporting as far as that all goes.
I share this with you today because I know each and every one of us will face something scary. Something unexpected. Something in our lives where our first instinct is to panic and try to take control of it.