Grace makes beauty out of ugly things…
most of you who read my blog know that i used to have an intense porn addiction. i have been open about it, pretty much from the beginning. you have been gracious, loving and supportive.
and i know that even after what i say today, you still will be. for that, i am thankful. even knowing that, it is still hard to bring myself to say this… but here goes:
i looked at porn last night.
even though i practically closed it faster than it came up, it still happened. i searched for it. it wasn’t an accident. unfortunately, i don’t have an excuse good enough to justify doing it at all other than, as with any addiction, i am human and i sinned.
as part of this blog community, i felt i owed it to you to be honest and to be accountable for my actions.
my tuesday was a rough one, having attended a funeral and having fought a migraine since monday, among other things. i was searching for something to comfort me, and even though i have come close to using porn as an escape before, i have fight off the temptations that came my way. but for whatever reason, last night, i gave in.
just goes to show, that if you’re not prayed-up and not on guard, and not seeking Him first to comfort… the enemy can creep in. particularly through our weakest areas and in our most vulnerable times. i am grateful and humbled to have a Savior with enough grace to cover my every weakness.
thank you for your grace.
….for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented Him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood. Romans 3:23-25