There’s been something weighing on my heart for a little while now. And I want to bring you in on it… for thoughts, wisdom and all that good stuff.
I was baptized when I was 16 years old, immediately following my salvation at summer camp. I was told it was my next step and as a new Christian (and formerly sprinkled Catholic) I went along with this new idea of immersion. Knowing it was a public expression of my new found faith.
The evening of my baptism (during Midweek Services), was in front of a church of people I didn’t know very well. I had been attending Westside for less than a year, and had just begun attending the student ministry (shortly before camp). I didn’t have any friends in the audience (since youth group met in a separate room and well, I didn’t have very many Christian friends).
At the time of my baptism, I was still heavily in bondage to sin through my porn addiction and it wasn’t until a good year or so later, that I actually surrendered it. I said, “yes” when asked if I had accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior… because I had… but I was so consumed by shame and guilt about my sin… that my baptism wasn’t a very powerful experience.
In fact, I remember feeling much like a fraud, and wondering why the water didn’t start boiling when I stepped in.
With all that said, I have been considering getting RE-Baptized — as a public expression of my faith as it is now… of a life free of my past addiction… of a surrendered life… of my life as a new creation.
While ultimately, it is my decision… I am curious of your thoughts.