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Please pray a specific prayer for me today. I feel like my boldness against the enemy is causing attacks in areas I most definitely don’t expect. You know… looking one way and the attacks come from behind so to speak? I’m doing ok, truly, but I am so angry that by cleaning up the mess of other people we are the ones on the frontline of the battle.
I wrote this in my quiet time last night after reviewing my day.
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slipping off a shelf, my heart
shattered into a million tiny pieces
the pieces of my joy, hope and peace
once held in great value
now broken
dirt and dust mix within
creating anger, despair and tears
where it seems up is down and down is up
awaiting someone or something to mend it
broken i remain
but never by you, so why now?
to forgive you i must
i’m sorry but it seems too soon
not ready.
how it makes me feel…
what it has done to others…
do you even care?
too haunted by the memories
surrounded by your fingerprints
peace seems to never come
i know peace can only come from One
the One who has already forgiven you
this is the cry of my heart
the wind dies and on the ground i land
bruised and battered i begin to crawl
crawling toward a hope and renewal that seems so far way
i know we will never be the same
but renewal, hope and joy is the cry of my heart
to forgive. to move forward.
with each tear i cry.
each angry thought.
each chill of bitterness.
i pray for a renewal
my soul, my heart, my mind
Lord, i pray again today
wow. that is awesome.
wow…
I know this place you write about. I’ve visited far too often. My favorite line is, “broken i remain.” Too me it’s like saying, “No matter how much I hurt, I’m not going down.”
We can’t wait for peace. We have to create it in the midst of chaotic pain. That takes time, and it’s a dark, dark ride. But God meets us there and rebuilds us within the framework of our core relationships. People shift. Some leave, others flow in to take their places. But God can rebuild if we remain.
You are a powerful force. You will be restored. He can do it.