Confession: I Don’t Pray for Myself
Well, it isn’t so much that I don’t, as much as it is something I don’t do well. I pray for others and feel that intercession is one of my gifts. But I don’t intercede for myself as if it is selfish or my needs and desires aren’t as important. This lack of self-worth spills over into many areas of my life.
I don’t defend myself when I’m hurt.
I don’t go to bat for myself when I know I deserve something.
I’m a pushover when in the company of strong personalities.
I internalize my frustrations causing bitterness to grow in my heart.
This is a growing problem I am beginning to see. There’s so many things I know I need to pray about and I need to lay at His feet (my job/finances, relationships and more). Not praying for myself is telling Him that I don’t need Him. I know He desires for me to acknowledge my dependency on Him through prayer. Getting to the point where I can pray for myself is a discipline He’s waiting for me to grasp and one that will help in the other areas of my life where I try to fight on my own.
So, I am working on it.
Tip from Bill Johnson : a reason our ministries aren’t as effective as Christ’s is that we don’t know how to minister to ourselves…
Yep – keep working on it. Me too. For life.
thanks for putting into words what i am dealing with as well. although, i just struggle with praying in general.
I feel you too.